Melodramatic Love - Part 1

Love is not perfect, in fact love only happens in fairytale stories or old folks stories that's meant to entertain us, leading us to fall in love in real life and living happily ever after for real. But the ironic thing is, there are many real true stories that I've read, heard and seen it with my own 2 eyes, love actually exist in this world. SA, one of my best buddy shared his inner feelings with us recently that the best Tiger Rambo has taken by me liao among the 8 Tigers in our group when I shared a Singaporean Fengshui article with them that day but I replied him till today's history, to me all of them remained as the good Tigers alive, both married and the single Bachelors in our group. 

I remembered my last gathering with them last year, the married ones tried to introduce the Bachelors a few good women alive but the 1st thing I heard from them is "Pretty or not?" Haha...all they care about is appearance comes 1st, then only comes the personality. To me, beauty comes in a package of a lovely personality with great confidence 'Yap Dak Chi Fong, Chut Dak Teng Tong'(can cook, can socialise) kinda lady, presentable as in tidy+clean and most importantly, a kind heart and soul beneath her pretty face besides being understanding and looking naturally beautiful from inside out. 

No wonder they're still singles I said to them. I really hope they focused more on personality than the appearance itself as beauty will fade as time goes by, as we age year by year. They are not 'gan jiong'(rushing) to get soul mate for themselves as they're successful enough to move on with happy lives. The 2 Bachelors even told me that both of them have travelled to Tasmania and Melbourne for Australia holiday together. They're living happily being singles in their 40's as they believed for men at this age of 40 they're only starting to enjoy life at this prime of time and they're enjoying it to the max. 

Well, I understand what they meant by that as I always advise them to take their time to fall in love and start a new life with their loved ones rather than simply hurting each other's heart. To men, they may not 'Kap' rushing to get married, but for women, they are. But the reality world has proven to me from my thorough observation over the years, the men in their 20's they're usually not mature enough to commit to a woman they have relationship with, unless those 'Nasi sudah menjadi bubur' cases then no choice they're forced to get married asap before the child is born to this world.

Not only they're not mature enough to really love, care and melt a woman's heart, they're very 'So Fatt' (careless) in nurturing a woman's heart to love them with 100% loyalty and sincerity. They thought they can buy a woman's heart through material possession by getting her a big house, credit card for her to shop and travel 1st class all around the world would be sufficient to keep her happy, but they're totally wrong about it. The men should cultivate devotion, fidelity and unlimited tender loving care to love a woman through a period of time. Give them 5 years minimum to really testing their real character, attitude, loyalty, sincerity and mutual good faith between you two.

In fact in my 20's, I humbly declining the men's proposal including Rambo(I was 28 when he 1st proposed) because I told them they're not sincere at all. Yea, they may have come from wealthy families, matured and ready in their 30's and 40's but all of them failed to melt my heart and soul to accept their marriage proposals. I always believe a happy marriage takes two to tango but I didn't get to see their sincerity of dedication and for Rambo, he was flying here and there almost every week I totally got lost in track with him. So he had a great pact with the company real seriously after I forced him to choose which one comes 1st between money or me as his top priority?

After having much serious discussion with him, I gave him another 5 years to really observed him strictly before giving him the chance to enforce the wedding bells to ring joyfully for us. He scored it perfectly with rainbow colours. I only married him after he has managed to pass the test with flying colours and after much careful deliberation from my side. I don't believe in getting married just to look good, impress my parents or setting a good example for my sisters and many other reasons to suit anyone's expectation. Marriage is a long term pledge between two lovers who can wait till the right time calling us to settle down permanently. If love needs to take 10 years to commit on it by all means, take the time to explore him more. Men would treasure you more if you know how to value yourself superbly. 

If you really love the man who have devoted so much of his time+money and pouring all his heart and soul to you wholeheartedly then you can marry him as quickly as possible. Take some time to understand and support him all the way through. Time can tell and time can prove that this man is really loving you to death or not after many years of getting to know each other instinctively. Your life will be peaceful+wonderful by then without having to worry this man who sleeps next to you is gonna betray you or not one day as you know they tend to be born itchy sometimes on the wrong part of organ in his body. This kinda 'peace of love' is worth much more valuable for billions of dollars appraisal than the million dollars in the bank. Love can be 'Pui Yeong'(cultivated), understood diligently actually throughout the years. 

It takes a lot of patience, perseverance and even endurance to bear the dissatisfaction, dislikes, biased and ego between two lovers who have their own strong judgements and understanding of the situation. At times, I cannot bear Rambo's strong Tiger character being so stubborn, standing too firm in his decision like Datuk J's love betrayal case. But when I tried to stand at his position/shoes looking at the bright side and different angles, he can be right about it and so long he's happy, I should feel happy for him too. I did my best not to like any of Datuk J's sharings on FB just to care for his feelings as he's loyal to his friendship with AA, the ex-wife. Considered as glorified, both AA and Rambo still continue to like each other happy family pictures showing how supportive they can be for 40 years friendship they have bonded over the years. That's life, c'est la vie!