Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Thankful For Life

Behind this happy go lucky lady smiling face actually came from a grateful warrior who just won a battle against a serious headache I had recently. I'm not a 'Kereta Kebal'(military tank), I'm a human like everybody else where I would fall sick too if I never take good care of myself. But I fought it hard, strong and promised myself I will take extra good care from now on as I'm not young anymore. At this age of 38, I cannot act too rebellious like before I can eat 5 packets of Nasi Lemak just because I love taking it. That day, I purposely bought 3 packets only as I limit myself 2 packets of Nasi Lemak+1 Nasi Pulut, left one for Rambo and to restrain myself for being too greedy. 

Haha...especially Nasi Lemak, I just can't help myself from taking this yummylicious complete meal since I was 6 years old. I remember my mom used to 'tapau' for me a packet and for herself before she goes to work. And both of us love sharing our food by giving each other sotong and prawns added ingredients. That's why I got so plump since I was young as I really finished the whole packet all by myself. But now, I cannot eat that much anymore and I did control my food intake right now as I'm having high cholesterol problem. My big sis Ginette was surprised when she knew that as she thought a slim person like me would not touch high cholesterol level and only happen to over-sized people. Sis Toto told her, "Not necessary!"

She asked me how I got to know this high cholesterol symptom? I told her the check using the machine maybe 90% accurate with readings stated that I'm healthy and having balance cholesterol level when my side of Lim Family checking it out for me. But then deep inside of me, I know what food I have been taking with all the loving of Curry Laksa, Sarawak Laksa for days. So, somewhere somehow my body will not lie to me when the 'Ngiiing, Ngiiing' sound came into my ears at night. It's the over limit of the wrong food I've been taking and even trying to keep any secrets in my life, Rambo knew it for sure because if he have it I would have it for sure as both of us are taking the same food. That's why he have stop taking it but I'm still stubborn when it comes to food.

That's why I blame myself when I fall sick because I've been careless and taking things for granted. When Rambo 'gou jong'(complain) to his sisters or my mom about my high cholesterol problem, they're all very concern about me and advising me to take healthy food now. They gave me all the organic prune extract, 'Misai Kucing' Tea to lower my high cholesterol level and taught me how to cook daily healthy food as well. As a filial daughter, I need to listen and learn to spare my mom's worries for me, my elders' advise including Rambo coz sick is really suffering lot not only it weaken my physical health but it affects my mental health too. No one can really help me if I don't care about myself, I need to change my attitude towards life.

I remember Sis Toto told me about one sad story that her friend who's a capable leader at school doing good from a top student to a successful accountant in her 30's, but turned out to be someone who's now fighting for her life now. It has been a few years she's surviving to live a normal life but it seems that the reality never let go, it hurts and bites even having so much money in the bank, staying in a big house and having a happy family of a boy+a girl. I did asked her if she's a bad lady or what bad deeds have she committed that she have to endure such pain and torments in her life. My sis reassured me that she's a nice lady who goes to church with her family, soft-spoken and happy go-lucky person. And there's no improvement after a few years of chemo and medicines as the cancer cells kept spreading from colon to ovary, and now to the brain. 

We sincerely sympathise for her predicament, such a sad movie of hers. Her condition is getting worse and worse each day, no matter how we help to pray for her from the Buddhist side and Christian side of her family+friends. The latest news she told me was that her husband has forced to resign from a high post of a reputable company because he needs to accompany her to Singapore Medical Centre twice for a huge brain operation. Slowly, she's losing her eyesight where one of her eye cannot see things clearly and she needs to rest on the bed after taking heavy medicines. Not cheap also medical fees in Singapore esp.with the 2.56 rates against Ringgit Malaysia, stays at the hospital with high operation fees. Really sad but a real, true story :( 

Just last Saturday, my mom told me our friend Flory who happened to survive from Colon Cancer Stage 2 is now on chemo and heavy medication with bad side effects. Her hands were like wearing plastic hand gloves, no thumb prints anymore and her skin is flaking bit by bit. I totally felt for her and when my stepdad heard that, he asked me to bring her into believing Buddhism. I looked at my mom and I told my stepdad that Flory is a devoted Christian. And both my mom and I told him that any religion we put our heart and soul into are meant to build us to be good, so long we practice it with much faith and sincerity. I didn't meet her but I did advise her from time to time to take plain porridge with lots of veges and fruits through Facebook. 

All of us do good deeds but we would still fall sick, suffer from illness and go through 'Sang, Lou, Beng, Sei' (Birth, Old, Sick and Death) eventually. There's no escape to that, it's the nature we cannot stop or hold anyway. In fact when the time comes, it comes without any warning or sign and sometimes without even asking our permission, the cancer buddies strike aggressively in the body system. Like I told them that night, she's only 48 years old 10 years older than me but having to fight with cancer that spread to her private part already. Lucky she can cut it off, she's not married having no kids to worry about. And she's not the kinda person who eats a lot like me, she's a simple living lady I have known all these years.

Nowadays, the generation is getting shorter life span like my mom's Marketing Manager who used to invite me for Energizer Run has left us 3 years ago due to heart attack. He's also Flory friend(same age) who have 2 kids, both are still young kids but lucky he have sufficient funds left for the family to live on. I salute my mom who really made the effort driving up to Kedah, sending him his last departure as they have been friends(both are Lim) for so many years in the same company. And it's through Buddhism that has enlighten me so much to accept this is life, life is short and precious so treasure every moment to think good, do good and feel good. 

That's why I grab every moment to do what's necessary and benefiting in life as time is running, the sun is burning and the world is turning everyday. Never waste the time complaining petty little things and some even not related to own problem but create so many unnecessary dramas, always jealous of others' success or good fortunes, being too selfish thinking of reaping benefits only without caring and loving others, not filial to parents or elders etc. In fact, the 1st basic thing to cultivate good deeds is 'Hao Sun'(filial) to parents as they're both ibarat Buddha in the family. I would share more good stories about how being filial actually brighten up your life tremendously and it can be very surprising to know that such wonderful thing can happen as what goes around comes around. That's life, c'est la vie!     

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