Autumn In My Heart 2013

My best ally Toto told me in July that she have too many things she wana share with me and when we finally met on Sunday for Lim family dinner, she told me she can’t finish all the subjects she wana share with me. At times when we enjoyed the Lychee together and talked, Rambo and both of my bro-inlaw would only listen. Rambo sometimes ‘beh tahan’ us as we tend to talk till so late at night as he wanted to go home to prepare for Monday meeting, he got no choice but to stop us talking ‘Kai Tiong Emm Tuin’(once we start,we just can't stop) and suggested that we can always meet again the next Sunday.

But my sis-inlaw Toto knew my busy weekend schedules where sometimes I really can’t make it for any Lim family dinner for Saturday as Saturday I was already booked for my dear Charmers and only left Sunday, another day I'm always fully booked with schedule hours of activities to attend to. And not forgetting to visit my Uncle Chew, paying my filial piety to him as over the years he has been taking good care of me when I was young. He gave the best of everything to me, whatever he can afford to, not only in financial support but mental strength support as well.  

Till today, he’s still the one who truly loves me with unconditional love in real sincerity. Every time I bought him something to indulge, he still asked if I have enough money to spend as when I was little, he gave me money to spend on things I wana buy. He really spoilt me since I was young till today I'm 37 years old, he still concern me so much like I'm his little girl he used to 'sayang' with tender loving care. That's why I'm hooked in taking good care of him now whenever I can. He never ask me for anything in return, so long I'm truly happy and healthy he's happy to see me visit him all the time. 

I told Toto to wazzapp me whenever she wana share things with me as I prefer to reply message this way and once I can find the time to meet, I would surely open my heart and ears for her esp. if I’m around that area. I would stop by and we can continue the subjects more further. But she told me she prefers to hear me laugh out loud and give comments to her when we talk about it. Haha…well, she did always make me laugh like mad as she’s funny and witty at the same time. And she's also kind where she actually inspired me to do more good deeds like her. It's fun to be around her as we both love sharing thoughts on Buddhism, family, life and charities.  

That’s why we can clicked for many years already and I will always support her decision in life as we really respect each other a lot. I remember the times when she have her ups and downs in life, I reminded her that all of us the 4 women(3 sis+me) would stand united together and conquer the battle with the men team. We won them, the men definitely. Now, they have all changed for good and became a better man in the family, who shares the responsibilities at home and not so male chauvinist anymore. Like I always said to all of them, men cannot 'manja' them too much. 

Yes, tolerance is very important in a marriage indeed to last for long but sometimes when you gave in too much and too much freedom to them for so many times, they never really give a damn to you when you tend to stand firm at your position the next time. So we need really to communicate well, tell them how we really feel inside and make a firm position that we wana solve the problem by going this way and the problem will not happen again. Once the fight did happened, we need to go through it with 'Jing Sem, Jing Hei'(total calmness), forgive and forget the incident immediately and hope for the better tomorrow, everything's gonna be ok. It's gonna be clear blue sky at the end of the day.

There is no perfect marriage in this world. In fact, it is better to have arguments and fights like Rambo and I, who are both so strong in Dragon and Tiger characters that when we fight I asked everyone to run far, far away from us. Do not interfere my fight with Rambo, it's a fight between both of us and only both of us can settle this matter with the right understanding. Although many of them always said that we're the perfect couple who set a good example for all of them (they're divorced even when we tried to help to patch them up), but I told all of them honestly it's really not easy. 

After all these years of fighting and understanding, finally we can become so attached and sincere to each other. Both of us have changed a lot as before this, Rambo is not like today's good man as he's also the same 'Dai Lam Yan Ji Yue'(male chauvinist) like his other buddies. Whenever my good friend EK asked how I changed him to become a good husband like today, I told her it takes me years to train him to be who he is today. Not train him like in a dog's traininglah but really talk to him in a good way with total honesty and sincerity. If he truly loves me, he would listen and follow. If not, there is no point to 'Mian Qiang'(force) each other anymore. It always take two to tango or two hands to clap! 

Before I cultivate my spiritual development with Buddhism teachings, I was too fierce to listen or to accept anyone's advise to forgive anyone who steps on my tail including Rambo. It's through Buddhism cultivation, I'm more forgiving but doesn't mean I would forgive and forget anyone who's cruel to me. I have the choice to be happy with my life and I would not let losers to enter my positive life. I have every right to be conscious and comfortable to be with the ones I like. I knew who's the bad rotten ones and the good ones that I would keep in my circle of life. But I'm compassionate enough to forgive her but doesn't means I wana have anything to do with her anymore. It's better to stay away from them as not to be close with the negative vibes she's having. 

I'm very choosy in keeping up close with the good ones because if you're kind enough you'll meet the good ones, you'll reap good deeds with them and create more good fortunes together with them, in time to come. And I know deep inside of me, whoever who did bad deeds to me esp. behind my back would face her karma when the time comes, it would hit them back sooner or later. Sometimes, I even knew about it but I didn't mention about it as I knew she deserves to learn a lesson from it. To this kinda people, no point to treat them so kind as it serves her right.

I always believe in Karma. In fact it's powerful enough to happen to anyone who did bad karma, as in what goes around comes around. They would get the same treatment from others as it's a cycle where you cannot escape from the bad deeds that you did to others. I don't have to do anything about it as I only concentrate in living my life with the right people and the good ones. 

Often times, my friends would asked why she needs to live like that when she can do it this way but I always told them, just let her live up her own life, so long she's happy living up her life everyday. It's not that I care less of her but I knew her lifestyle and to me, it's no right or wrong for her to live up this way as this is her life. We cannot decide it for her.    

Life is really that simple, it is to live and to rejoice for it. Live life for yourself and not for the others to see or judge because it's really none of their business. You only need to be answerable to yourself when things go right or wrong. It's all decided by you to live up your own life. You need not compare, compete and be jealous to others who live up their lives with glitz and glamour as they chose to live up this way. You can always go for it and live up your own life to be who you are, like a shining star too. 

In fact, good things should be share among all of us, so everyone get to taste the good life and not wasting time to be losers who step on others. Remember at the end of the day, as long you're happy living up your life without stepping on others, you need not explain or answer to anyone as this is your life. Just focus in living up your life like the star you wana be. To me, I'm living my life comfortably as the Piscean star who's sensitive and loving my loved ones, who also love me for who I really am. It is as simple as that, that's life!